Looking from the outside In

 I like walking around the city at night in the winter time. Aside from the exercise it's nice to strap on a set of headphones and bomb around the streets in the dark. I've always liked walking when it's dark. It's peaceful, you can clear your head or get things sorted out. I've figured out many of my life's problems while on walks. The other thing that I do enjoy about it, especially in the winter time, are the small glimpses of other peoples lives that you see while walking by houses or apartments. You get to see just a glimpse of where people are at in their lives. Some are sitting and eating dinner with their family, others are watching television, working on art projects, taking a break from doing dishes to give their significant other a hug, while some folks are sitting at their tables working on paperwork or playing cards. With the amount of time that I have spent at the apartment in the last 12 months, it's nice to see these simple, yet wonderful human actions while I am walking by. It was especially nice, however, equally depressing during the holiday season. It was nice to see the family's in their homes, talking, or sharing laughs and drinks. Yet I found myself at times missing my family. the street lights are nice, and some of the folks still have their Christmas lights up, although it's getting fewer and fewer. The glow of the lights was a nice touch, even the folks that are growing pot plants in their windows under black lights. It's nice reminder that there is calm in the world and that people are still human, and even though a lot of folks are quarantining, they are still making connections with their loved ones. Maybe it's just because I want a family. 

The time spent this past week helping out has been a nice reminder of that. I miss the interaction with everyone. The laughs, and excitement, and snuggles. It's nice to know that we are working on things, it's nice  to have open and deep discussion about what we are and where we are going. Of course I realize there are some things that I need to focus on to make me a better partner. 

1. Communicating effectively

2. providing a safe environment 

3. be aware

These need to happen.