Your Inner Child pt. 2

 I found a pretty neat resource on youtube that explains some pretty complex issues in a easier to understand format. This is proving to be useful and is opening my eyes to some things. To continue with the inner child concept that I am working on absorbing I wanted to share two short videos. The first one is about how what you experience as a child shapes your love style. I'm 100% the pleaser. I think this stems from growing up in a household with a father who was military who needed things done a certain way, and, to me, nothing could ever be done good enough. whether it be chores, or being compared academically to my sister. I have partial memories of me giving things to my parents or being overly friendly, specifically to try to earn that feeling of acceptance. 

This absolutely ties into what I do in my relationships. I want to make my partner happy I want that feeling of acceptance and love, so I will do anything to help. I find myself picking up extra slack around the house, alter plans last minute if they need help etc.. I do realize that this is to a fault as sometimes I do so much that I don't stop and this leads to burnout. 

This second video is about how your childhood experiences shape your personality. I find these to be pretty interesting and I find myself being comprised of a different elements across different categories. There is going to be one other video that I will post regarding having a "wounded inner child," but that's for a different post. 

 Are you able to determine which ones you are? If so, I'd be happy to hear about it. feel free to leave comments. You can find the youtube channel down below. I recommend checking them out. they have hundreds of videos covering all sorts of different topics. If you have something that you are trying to work through, you'll probably be able to find it here:

Psych2go youtube channel

Your Inner Child pt. 1

 This is going to be quick because I'm tired, but felt compelled to update. After copious amounts of research this week, and a common theme of reaching out to your inner child. I decided to do just that. I won't share the letter here as there was information that I divulged that I was actually able to express out loud for the 1st time, and it's not something that I want going public. I was proud of myself though for holding it, staring at it and accepting it for what it was. the point of this letter was to let the 10 year old version of myself that is scared know that he is loved and cherished. He matters and is worthy. I read through it many times today with the intent of this letter permeating my conscious so he could hear it. 

Where it has been an emotional week, tonight I decided to fill up the tub, took some cannabis oil, put on some 432hz healing music and closed my eyes. the intent aside from relaxing was to wander the corridors of my inner self and try to find 10yr old Matt. I'm not sure how long I was trying to find him, I do know that I didn't find him and I was jolted out of it. I'll try again this weekend. I did lay in the tub for a bit and reflected on the week, and conversations had. My mind wandered off at one point and started thinking about the nights we had. I snapped to mid fantasy and realized what I was thinking. God i'd love to have just one more night with you....