This is going to be quick because I'm tired, but felt compelled to update. After copious amounts of research this week, and a common theme of reaching out to your inner child. I decided to do just that. I won't share the letter here as there was information that I divulged that I was actually able to express out loud for the 1st time, and it's not something that I want going public. I was proud of myself though for holding it, staring at it and accepting it for what it was. the point of this letter was to let the 10 year old version of myself that is scared know that he is loved and cherished. He matters and is worthy. I read through it many times today with the intent of this letter permeating my conscious so he could hear it.
Where it has been an emotional week, tonight I decided to fill up the tub, took some cannabis oil, put on some 432hz healing music and closed my eyes. the intent aside from relaxing was to wander the corridors of my inner self and try to find 10yr old Matt. I'm not sure how long I was trying to find him, I do know that I didn't find him and I was jolted out of it. I'll try again this weekend. I did lay in the tub for a bit and reflected on the week, and conversations had. My mind wandered off at one point and started thinking about the nights we had. I snapped to mid fantasy and realized what I was thinking. God i'd love to have just one more night with you....
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