Taken for granted & Broken Trust

Yesterday was a fairly quiet day at work, and spent some time reading up on broken trust and what it means to be taken for granted. That line "you took me for granted" keep ringing in my head, I can hear the hurt in your voice. This is something that I need to address, and , well, hence me reading up on it so that I can acknowledge what your truth in the matter was. I was gonna write about it in the afternoon, but really didn't know how to start. After work I went for a run, and achieved a new personal best distance wise, almost double what I have been doing. I was both happy and proud of myself because running has always been hard for me. There is a good portion of that run I don't remember because I was in my head again, thinking about the events leading up to the breakup that made you feel like you were not appreciated and broke your trust. It breaks my heart to know that's how I made you feel, because that was never my intent, but I recognize that those events did happen, and I own that. I can absolutely understand why you feel the way that you do, and those feelings are 100% valid. It must have felt like a slap in the face, and I never meant to disregard those feelings, but it happened. The fact that I made you feel alone, when you were scared, the fact that I didn't let you know I was giving her a ride and agreed to watch the boys. That's not fucking fair to you and I'm sorry. an apology is not enough I know. I don't have the opportunity now to repair that. 

I knew what I had, I was blessed to have what I had, no man would ever want to lose that kind of partner. If you only knew how much I do appreciate you, and everything that you have done for me or taught me, and are still continuing to teach me as I reflect , research & connect dots. I wish I could repair that hurt. I wish that I could repair the trust. Build it back.  In order for me to build that back, firstly I need the chance. Secondly I need to know what is needed by you to prevent those things from happening again, what do you want? what do you need? Because I never want you to feel like that again. I'm doing the work I need to do to be a container, and I need to protect you from that stuff. I recognize that I will probably not get another chance to make this right, I have to accept that. I have to own that my actions put me in this spot.