I have my first therapy appointment today, I hope it goes well and that I feel comfortable with the person. I'm looking forward to starting this, I have a lot that I need to work through. Not only with this recent breakup, but just a lot of loss and trauma to deal with. Connections are being made and the truth will be revealed. The post that I wrote the other day was really eye opening to me regarding all of the things that happened just last year. That's not even factoring in childhood stuff. I'm so twisted over the ending of this relationship right now. I feel like it has me questioning everything about myself. Some days are better than others. I had that churning burning ball in my stomach all day yesterday. I'm out of tears, I'm just left with that dull constant ache. It had me researching attachment styles the last day and a half to try to figure this out. I try to stay busy to keep my mind occupied. You always come back. when I do get you out of my head, you creep back again, and then I find myself doing push-ups to get you back out of my head. I broke down the other night and invited you over, I know I shouldn't have. I knew you weren't going to come over. Is it wrong of me to admit I was hoping you would, so you could take your frustrations out on me during a much needed release?
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