Woke up to this

I woke up early this morning. As I was staring out of the window, I was thinking about the last two months of really working on myself, both physically, mentally & spiritually. I know I've got a long way to go, but I am proud of myself for making the progress that I have made. I've already seen progress with my running, in my pushups, in the time I can hold my planks, being more positive, the hard realization about sexual abuse and having an open discussion about it and accepting it, making the connections about how i wronged and hurt you and sitting in those moments to understand how you may have felt, or even though it's a pain in the ass at times, how much I love writing and how therapeutic it is for me. and starting to find the joy with many things, like remembering how much i loved playing basketball. It's amazing to think about how much I lost myself  between the marriage, living in survival mode for so long and mental illness.  It's nice knowing that it's not stemming from a determination to get someone back (don't get me wrong, I have hopes, but it's not my drive.) But from a viewpoint of wanting to fix myself so this never happens again because I can't repair myself from losing a third family.  Either way, I picked up my phone to check something and this was the first thing that greeted me today. I take it as a sign that I'm on the right path, I took comfort in that. I am better than just "okay." I am worthy, I am loved & and I deserve and on my way to being happy. I want to try to find some sage this weekend so that I can smudge the house and get rid of the negativity that is leaving me so it doesn't linger. I'm not even sure where to find them.