A Side Effect

Getting help for depression can be a ironic thing at times. We preach talking about mental health, and mental health awareness now in this world like it is going out of style. Which, I am happy for. Open lines of communication is a great thing, to vent , explore ideas about yourself, and to help offer support to others that may need it. There are new breakthroughs every day in medicines that people need to navigate their way through in order to try to help themselves. 

Try this, try that, why don't you add this other drug to what you're currently taking. No drug out there comes without it's side effects, and anyone who has been on any sort of SSRI knows that already. The side effects can range from being drowsy, to feeling like a robot, to becoming suicidal, or maybe more suicidal that you already were. I find that to be rather Ironic. The thing that you are taking to try to make yourself well ultimately could aid in killing you. 

I bring this up because tomorrow I will start taking SSRIs again to help with depression. This is not the first time that I have been on them. I recognize that I have been heading down a dark path, and I'm at the point where I'm tired of dealing with it. feeling like shit all the time. I find that I've been depressed for so long that it's all that I know. The sick thing is I know that I will miss the feeling of not being depressed.  Maybe Kurt Cobain was on to something when he uttered the words "I miss the comfort in being sad." 

so I go into tomorrow with a positive attitude that things will work. maybe I'll get lucky and this will be the only drug that I have to take. Maybe this will be the one that works for me the first time OR Maybe I'll go crazy....

What depression really looks like:

You might kill yourself if you don't take them, and you might kill yourself if you do take them.....